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I'm very slowly working my way through the paper kingdom. Ive only listened to tracks 1-3 (fake your death,witch and bike thief) and I dont know how to feel. Obviously, its amazing, i love it. but i can see why it was never released. Its very different from danger days and honestly changes the aesthetic of their music so much. So far, at least, theres none of the punk pop elements that most of their other songs have. Also (possibly?) hot take but tpk demo of fake your death is so much better than the mastered version on may death never stop you. Idk why but the piano sounds so much better on the demo.
- r
- r
I think part of the reason I don't get the help I need is because I can't express my emotions. I genuinely cannot express when I experience pain. I hide the fact that I'm in pain. I can't really deal with it but I still hide it because I physically can't express it. I'm also not used to people actally caring and taking me seriously. Usually it's just my parents telling me "oh well, we all have pain, now get up you're being dramatic". I'm not fucking being dramatic. I phsically cannot express my pain because I cannot speak.
In other news, I realised you can download ao3 works as .epub files. I've imported these onto my ereader, so now I have a copy of unholyverse offline with me! Speaking of unholyverse...you should all read it...I'd also recommend The Anatomy of a Fall - that is, of if you're into mcr fanfiction. Tbh you can read either with no mcr knowledge. The characters seem more mcr shaped than the actual people.
- roman (i recently realised freaking mikeyway named his kid rowan which is the superior version of my name because w is objectively a better and much cooler letter than m)
In other news, I realised you can download ao3 works as .epub files. I've imported these onto my ereader, so now I have a copy of unholyverse offline with me! Speaking of unholyverse...you should all read it...I'd also recommend The Anatomy of a Fall - that is, of if you're into mcr fanfiction. Tbh you can read either with no mcr knowledge. The characters seem more mcr shaped than the actual people.
- roman (i recently realised freaking mikeyway named his kid rowan which is the superior version of my name because w is objectively a better and much cooler letter than m)
So, I thought I was done with my exams. Turns out I’m not. I found out today that I have another exam today. That was fun. But now I’ve realised that I only have 2 months until my art exam. I’m lowkey cooked because I have no plan whatsoever and don’t know what I’m doing.
To be honest, I don’t know much. I don’t really know where I’m going in the future.
That scares me.
What if in 10 years, I still have no idea and am desperately searching for the thing that I need to do?
To be honest, I don’t know much. I don’t really know where I’m going in the future.
That scares me.
What if in 10 years, I still have no idea and am desperately searching for the thing that I need to do?
Because I'm sick of thinking about exams, here's a list of things I want to do once GCSE s are over:
Sleep. Literally just sleep for a whole week, paint my drum kit, dream about sixth form, write a letter about how much I dislike my school to hand to my headteacher of results day, just summer walks man. im so excited for summer, picnics in the woods with my friends, going to town with my friends, drawing, reading books which i havent had time to read so have just been piling up on my desk, clear out all my gcse books and notes, sew cool stuff, buy new clothes for sixth form, go out cycling more, finally write my book, make up more ocs, draw mcr and stuff, customise my clothing, watch movies until 1am, stay up as late as I want, bake and find new recipes, did I mention sleep?
- salad boy
Sleep. Literally just sleep for a whole week, paint my drum kit, dream about sixth form, write a letter about how much I dislike my school to hand to my headteacher of results day, just summer walks man. im so excited for summer, picnics in the woods with my friends, going to town with my friends, drawing, reading books which i havent had time to read so have just been piling up on my desk, clear out all my gcse books and notes, sew cool stuff, buy new clothes for sixth form, go out cycling more, finally write my book, make up more ocs, draw mcr and stuff, customise my clothing, watch movies until 1am, stay up as late as I want, bake and find new recipes, did I mention sleep?
- salad boy
This is just going to be yap in a series of yaps about mcr and the paper kingdom.
So, around a week ago, mcr's previously unreleased album - The Paper Kingdom - got completely leaked. All the demos are now widely available. Take one post down with a link - 5 more are posted in its place. Tpk was originally scrapped around 2013 when mcr broke up as it took a toll on the member's mental healths and made them revisit some places they really didn't want to. Over the years, song clips and snippets have been leaked, but never a whole freaking album. Tpk has always BEEN avaliable, but was only auctioned off for like £20k by some people who somehow got ahold of it. I honestly don't know how to feel. Yeah. I do have the songs downloaded. But I haven't listened to them. I don't know if I want to. And it's killing me. It just feels so wrong. Like I'm personally going behind Gerard,Mikey,Ray and Frank's backs, even though tons of other people have already listened. It just doesnt feel right. Something they deemed 'not good enough' for the public. Something they never wanted anyone else to hear. Is that what I want? Will I be a bad person if Ilisten to it?
Maybe the album will actually let me heal and rest. Maybe it will save my life as mcr has done so many times before.
- xo R
So, around a week ago, mcr's previously unreleased album - The Paper Kingdom - got completely leaked. All the demos are now widely available. Take one post down with a link - 5 more are posted in its place. Tpk was originally scrapped around 2013 when mcr broke up as it took a toll on the member's mental healths and made them revisit some places they really didn't want to. Over the years, song clips and snippets have been leaked, but never a whole freaking album. Tpk has always BEEN avaliable, but was only auctioned off for like £20k by some people who somehow got ahold of it. I honestly don't know how to feel. Yeah. I do have the songs downloaded. But I haven't listened to them. I don't know if I want to. And it's killing me. It just feels so wrong. Like I'm personally going behind Gerard,Mikey,Ray and Frank's backs, even though tons of other people have already listened. It just doesnt feel right. Something they deemed 'not good enough' for the public. Something they never wanted anyone else to hear. Is that what I want? Will I be a bad person if Ilisten to it?
Maybe the album will actually let me heal and rest. Maybe it will save my life as mcr has done so many times before.
- xo R
I don't really know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know anything. I don't know what I want to do with my life anymore. My dad keeps talking about university, but I don't even know if I want to go. I can't say that though. It'll just be the same "you're going to end up working in Tesco" and "we just want what's best for you" bullshit. I think I should know what's best for me since I'm the one in my head. But apparently that doesn't count because I'm a child. I don't deserve to be listened to.
I want to work im the music industry, I think. But I don't know how i can justify that to my parents. Maybe I don't have to. It's my life for fucks sake. I love music so much. I don't think anything brings me as much joy as listening to and creating music. I think it's worth it. Even if I'm shittily paid. Surely, doing what you love and actually wanting to wake up and go to work in the morning beats the paycheck. If one more person tells me that I need to get a job that makes loads of money I might lose it.
I don't know what I want with my life. I don't know if I want to get married or have children or even have sex. But everyone just keeps expecting me to do that. I think my parents will think there's something wrong with me if I tell them I don't want to ever get married. The concept is just too scary. I can't do that. Commit myself to a singular person. Because what if they turn out to be a horrible person. Or they aren't the "one", whatever that means. My friend told me that there isn't such thing as "the one", but surely that just complicates this even more. How do I know I'm making the right choice. Im just so terrified of messing up.
- Rom
I want to work im the music industry, I think. But I don't know how i can justify that to my parents. Maybe I don't have to. It's my life for fucks sake. I love music so much. I don't think anything brings me as much joy as listening to and creating music. I think it's worth it. Even if I'm shittily paid. Surely, doing what you love and actually wanting to wake up and go to work in the morning beats the paycheck. If one more person tells me that I need to get a job that makes loads of money I might lose it.
I don't know what I want with my life. I don't know if I want to get married or have children or even have sex. But everyone just keeps expecting me to do that. I think my parents will think there's something wrong with me if I tell them I don't want to ever get married. The concept is just too scary. I can't do that. Commit myself to a singular person. Because what if they turn out to be a horrible person. Or they aren't the "one", whatever that means. My friend told me that there isn't such thing as "the one", but surely that just complicates this even more. How do I know I'm making the right choice. Im just so terrified of messing up.
- Rom
I'm feeling slightly better now. I completely failed my physics exam and I think that should be bothering me, but it isn't. I know I can get the grades. I still have a few months and I'll be happy with anything above a 6. The only reason I wanted to get 9s was because of my parents. Now I realise, it's not their life. It's mine. And if I'm happy with it, who gives a shit what they think? I've decided to not give a single fuck what they think about me anymore. As long as I get into the school I want and get the grades I'm happy with, then their sour mood about me not living up to their expectations won't affect me. It's irrelevant to my life and I'll move on, whether they like it or not.
When I get home I'm going to bake some vegan shortbread. I'm excited about that.
Yesterday, I got back from a trip to Seville, Spain. I really enjoyed the trip, but the flights were very stressful, especially because we were flying with Ryanair. Word of advice, if you want to fly budget, whatever you do, DO NOT fly with Ryanair. The ceiling of the plane leaked freaking water. We called the flight attendant and she told up, "you'll be fine, it's just the air conditioning leaking." And hands us a tissue to stuff in the ceiling.
We stayed in a hostel, and there was a creepy guy hanging around the hostel. He kept trying to talk to us and find out what school we were from. We're an all-girls school, which made it very clear what he was trying to do. He knew we were all minors and underage, but still kept trying to talk to us and "take us on a trip of Spain". My brother said that he was probably trying to take us to his private island. One of the teachers got in his face and yelled at him to leave us alone because we're all minors and he cannot talk to us. He left, but still kept trying to hang around. This is why I don't trust cis men.
- R
When I get home I'm going to bake some vegan shortbread. I'm excited about that.
Yesterday, I got back from a trip to Seville, Spain. I really enjoyed the trip, but the flights were very stressful, especially because we were flying with Ryanair. Word of advice, if you want to fly budget, whatever you do, DO NOT fly with Ryanair. The ceiling of the plane leaked freaking water. We called the flight attendant and she told up, "you'll be fine, it's just the air conditioning leaking." And hands us a tissue to stuff in the ceiling.
We stayed in a hostel, and there was a creepy guy hanging around the hostel. He kept trying to talk to us and find out what school we were from. We're an all-girls school, which made it very clear what he was trying to do. He knew we were all minors and underage, but still kept trying to talk to us and "take us on a trip of Spain". My brother said that he was probably trying to take us to his private island. One of the teachers got in his face and yelled at him to leave us alone because we're all minors and he cannot talk to us. He left, but still kept trying to hang around. This is why I don't trust cis men.
- R
Face it, You're never gonna make it.
Jan. 28th, 2026 10:22 pmMocks stress is really getting to me. I've cried so many times. But I don't even know what I'm stressed about. I know I can pass, and that's all I really need. I need a 4 in English, 5 in Art, 6 in Physics and 7 in Maths. That's all. But I'm terrified I'm going to fail. The stress officially got too much and I relapsed. I knew it was going to happen, but I'm still pissed because I was 3 months clean. That's a fucking record for me. I hope that means I'm getting better.
All my parents can do is shout at me. I can't do anything fucking right. At least I'm in Spain this weekend. I want to go to charity shops and buy cool shit.
Everything's just piling up and I don't know how to stop it. Mock revision, grade 6 piano, music theory, art coursework, imedia coursework and it's just all too much.
138 days to go - and counting.
- Roman
All my parents can do is shout at me. I can't do anything fucking right. At least I'm in Spain this weekend. I want to go to charity shops and buy cool shit.
Everything's just piling up and I don't know how to stop it. Mock revision, grade 6 piano, music theory, art coursework, imedia coursework and it's just all too much.
138 days to go - and counting.
- Roman
Wow. I really am a shitty character judge. If you told me a year ago that ]'d have no desire to ever speak or see my - girlfriend at the time - ex, I would've laughed at you. She was honestly everything to me and the only reason I hadn't killed myself. Now, I'm so done with her. I fucking hate her guts. I never want to see her nasty face ever again.
She made fun of my brother, posting a video of him on tiktok which he doesn't even know about. Naturally, I got fucking angry at her. She made fun of me for being angry and hen proceeded to call me and all my friends retards. She's so pathetic it isn't even funny anymore. I'm honestly horrifed I ever dated her. She has deterred me from ever dating women again (not really i'm just a silly gay man) but probably has deterred from ever dating again. Atleast not for a long while.
I don't ever want to talk to her again, but it honestly scares me that she knows stuff about me that I'd never tell anyone else. She knows about my attempts. She could fucking ruin me if she wanted. But I could do the same to her.
There are some other red flags I should've noticed but didn't. She has a friend who was a boderline nazi. He walked around with fucking swastika pins. She was casually racist towards me. She said tranny. I don't care that you're dating a trans guy and have a trans friend. That doesn't fucking give you the right. She has a friend who called me a tranny in a degratory way. And I think she's dating him now. Fuck her. I hope she chokes on her own bigoted views. I hope she feels better about herself by making fun of other people.
- Nero
She made fun of my brother, posting a video of him on tiktok which he doesn't even know about. Naturally, I got fucking angry at her. She made fun of me for being angry and hen proceeded to call me and all my friends retards. She's so pathetic it isn't even funny anymore. I'm honestly horrifed I ever dated her. She has deterred me from ever dating women again (not really i'm just a silly gay man) but probably has deterred from ever dating again. Atleast not for a long while.
I don't ever want to talk to her again, but it honestly scares me that she knows stuff about me that I'd never tell anyone else. She knows about my attempts. She could fucking ruin me if she wanted. But I could do the same to her.
There are some other red flags I should've noticed but didn't. She has a friend who was a boderline nazi. He walked around with fucking swastika pins. She was casually racist towards me. She said tranny. I don't care that you're dating a trans guy and have a trans friend. That doesn't fucking give you the right. She has a friend who called me a tranny in a degratory way. And I think she's dating him now. Fuck her. I hope she chokes on her own bigoted views. I hope she feels better about herself by making fun of other people.
- Nero
Amazing New Mexico Sunset (totally back in love)
Most MCR and FOB fans have heard of or read the infamous ‘Amazing New Mexico Sunset’ post from Pete’s LiveJournal.
For those who haven't read it in its entirety:
“June 28, 2005
Amazing new mexico sunset. I'm hanging on a bridge with my friend mikey way from my chem. Its all orange and pink above us. We went to another waterpark again. I love high fives again. Totally back in love. Saw the most amazing movie... I think its called spirited away. Watch it.
[Cut bit talking about TRL votes]
Peterpan”
Lots of people speculate that the day Mikey and Pete shared was more than friendship. Watching the sunset together isn't explicitly a romantic thing, but since only Mikey is mentioned, I'd assume they are alone. Two people, alone, watching a sunset definitely has some very heavy romantic connotations. Not only this, but if we assume that the other things he mentioned happened with Mikey, they went to a waterpark and watched a movie. Movie dates are a very standard textbook romantic thing. This leads to the conclusion that they were very likely on some semblance of a date.
Pete then mentions that he is “totally back in love”. I genuinely cannot see how this can be interpreted in any other way apart from Pete is in love with Mikey. He doesn't really mention any girls during Warped Tour, and while he could've met a girl, it was most likely to be a friend of his or someone he has already mentioned and been close with. Mikey fits all of these categories.
While Pete has primarily dated women and was married to a woman, he has alluded to being bisexual, “I'm basically half-gay”, and has mentioned that he has experimented sexually and is sexually attracted to men. During 2005 would've definitely been during the time he was experimenting with his sexuality, and it is very possible he was in a sexual relationship with Mikey. Mikey himself was infamous for his one-night stands and sexual relationships on Warped Tour, hence the phrase “half of Jersey, all of Warped Tour” that is often used in reference to him.
- xo R
Most MCR and FOB fans have heard of or read the infamous ‘Amazing New Mexico Sunset’ post from Pete’s LiveJournal.
For those who haven't read it in its entirety:
“June 28, 2005
Amazing new mexico sunset. I'm hanging on a bridge with my friend mikey way from my chem. Its all orange and pink above us. We went to another waterpark again. I love high fives again. Totally back in love. Saw the most amazing movie... I think its called spirited away. Watch it.
[Cut bit talking about TRL votes]
Peterpan”
Lots of people speculate that the day Mikey and Pete shared was more than friendship. Watching the sunset together isn't explicitly a romantic thing, but since only Mikey is mentioned, I'd assume they are alone. Two people, alone, watching a sunset definitely has some very heavy romantic connotations. Not only this, but if we assume that the other things he mentioned happened with Mikey, they went to a waterpark and watched a movie. Movie dates are a very standard textbook romantic thing. This leads to the conclusion that they were very likely on some semblance of a date.
Pete then mentions that he is “totally back in love”. I genuinely cannot see how this can be interpreted in any other way apart from Pete is in love with Mikey. He doesn't really mention any girls during Warped Tour, and while he could've met a girl, it was most likely to be a friend of his or someone he has already mentioned and been close with. Mikey fits all of these categories.
While Pete has primarily dated women and was married to a woman, he has alluded to being bisexual, “I'm basically half-gay”, and has mentioned that he has experimented sexually and is sexually attracted to men. During 2005 would've definitely been during the time he was experimenting with his sexuality, and it is very possible he was in a sexual relationship with Mikey. Mikey himself was infamous for his one-night stands and sexual relationships on Warped Tour, hence the phrase “half of Jersey, all of Warped Tour” that is often used in reference to him.
- xo R
I've been having the most intense hyperfixation ever that I might actually go insane. It's the only thing I can think of and it consumes practically every single thought. I want a fucking diagnosis. Is that so hard?
I wonder about what happened to me. Why everything feels so wrong and strange. Do I wish that everything was easier? Yeah. I really do. I wish I was neurotypical. I wish I wasn't an addict. I wish I could actually open up. I wish I wasn't gay. I wish I wasn't trans. I wish I wasn't mixed race. I wish I was white-passing. I wish I wasn't descriminated against and felt like i had to change myself.
I like being different. Don't get me wrong. But it's just so fukcing tiring sometimes to ignore all the people saying bullshit about me. Honestly, it's the 21st century. Mixed race children exist. This isn't fucing apartheid. I don't feel like not being white-passing should make you treat me any differently. People who's fashion sense isn't basic black and white clothing exist. I love looking like alternative culture and queer culture - the problem is other people. There's only so many wierd looks and whispered comments I can take. Seriously, just be more accepting. Stop caring about how other people look. It's not that fucking hard. And it's none of your fucking business.
Focus on youself. Don't concern yourself with the noise. Ignore all those fuckers who tell you that you're never going to be anything. You're perfect the way you are.
- Rome
I like being different. Don't get me wrong. But it's just so fukcing tiring sometimes to ignore all the people saying bullshit about me. Honestly, it's the 21st century. Mixed race children exist. This isn't fucing apartheid. I don't feel like not being white-passing should make you treat me any differently. People who's fashion sense isn't basic black and white clothing exist. I love looking like alternative culture and queer culture - the problem is other people. There's only so many wierd looks and whispered comments I can take. Seriously, just be more accepting. Stop caring about how other people look. It's not that fucking hard. And it's none of your fucking business.
Focus on youself. Don't concern yourself with the noise. Ignore all those fuckers who tell you that you're never going to be anything. You're perfect the way you are.
- Rome
Sweet Little Dudes Club
Jan. 10th, 2026 11:05 amThis is not explicitly about petekey; it's more about Mikey Way and Pete Wentz’s friendship because I think it's cute, and I want to yap about it, but this could also be interpreted as more than a friendship. Mikey and Pete have a thing called the Sweet Little Dudes Club. It's been referenced many times by both Pete and Mikey, and there's even a picture of Pete wearing a shirt that says' Sweet Little Dudes Club'. Now, this isn't explicitly a petekey reference, but it could be interpreted like that because Pete has referenced the whole of My Chem, but he only ever speaks about Mikey by name in his journal/blogs. He has never mentioned Frank or Ray or Gerard; it's only ever been Mikey.
Mikey has previously used the term ‘Sweet little dude’ to refer to other people, and Gerard used this in an interview to mock him, but mentions of Mikey in Pete’s LiveJournal Q&A bring up this term.
“Q: We want to have sex with Gerard Way. And I mean full blown pumping his gas while he is handcuffed to the bed sex. Care to hook a couple of sistas up?
A: me and mikey way have a gang called The Sweet Little Dudes. you might see us on warped tour.”
This particular instance is quite interesting. Pete seems unfazed by the reference to having sex with Gerard. This seems like something he should’ve commented on, but instead, his mind went straight to Gerard’s brother, Mikey. He only talks about Mikey, even when he isn’t explicitly mentioned.
In another:
“11/13/05
Q:hey! i was just wondering, how good are you friends with mikey way??
A:me and mikey are not in just one gang together, we are in two: the sweet little dudes and the fraternal order of the handsome boy. i call him the duke of handsomeness.”
Calling your friend ‘duke of handsomeness’... that definitely seems like a normal platonic thing to do…
My Chem and FOB only met in 2003, so this is only 2 years after this. Obviously, this could very well be just a normal friendship joke thing, but that would mean that they are quite close friends. While this could possibly happen in 2 years, both bands were touring and obviously, couldn’t hang out every day and most likely the majority of those 2 years were spent apart. For them to just become this close friends in the 2 or so months of Warped Tour seems unlikely.
- xo R
(Obviously, these are only my own interpretations of Pete's ramblings. Only Mikey and Pete themselves will know what truly happened in 2005. I don't claim any of this to be the truth.)
Mikey has previously used the term ‘Sweet little dude’ to refer to other people, and Gerard used this in an interview to mock him, but mentions of Mikey in Pete’s LiveJournal Q&A bring up this term.
“Q: We want to have sex with Gerard Way. And I mean full blown pumping his gas while he is handcuffed to the bed sex. Care to hook a couple of sistas up?
A: me and mikey way have a gang called The Sweet Little Dudes. you might see us on warped tour.”
This particular instance is quite interesting. Pete seems unfazed by the reference to having sex with Gerard. This seems like something he should’ve commented on, but instead, his mind went straight to Gerard’s brother, Mikey. He only talks about Mikey, even when he isn’t explicitly mentioned.
In another:
“11/13/05
Q:hey! i was just wondering, how good are you friends with mikey way??
A:me and mikey are not in just one gang together, we are in two: the sweet little dudes and the fraternal order of the handsome boy. i call him the duke of handsomeness.”
Calling your friend ‘duke of handsomeness’... that definitely seems like a normal platonic thing to do…
My Chem and FOB only met in 2003, so this is only 2 years after this. Obviously, this could very well be just a normal friendship joke thing, but that would mean that they are quite close friends. While this could possibly happen in 2 years, both bands were touring and obviously, couldn’t hang out every day and most likely the majority of those 2 years were spent apart. For them to just become this close friends in the 2 or so months of Warped Tour seems unlikely.
- xo R
(Obviously, these are only my own interpretations of Pete's ramblings. Only Mikey and Pete themselves will know what truly happened in 2005. I don't claim any of this to be the truth.)
Every petekey truther has heard of the notorious song “Bang The Doldrums” by Fall Out Boy. It is very commonly accepted knowledge that this song is written about Mikey Way. The song’s lyrics are actually directly pulled from one of Pete’s blogs.
“Sunday, July 17, 2005
wrote you a goodbye note (you just wrote me off) on your arm when you passed out. bestfriends, exfriends- better off as lovers not the other way around. racing through the city in the back of yellow checkered cars. the takeoffs are the worst but the skin from your shoulder to your ear makes it all worth it. and im sorry the way my moods flicker on and off like old light on your porch, but i know you wouldn't have it any other way. sneaking in your window instead of out. the way you hold a cigarette cause you don't know what to do with your hands when we are sitting this close. the way the waists of pants feel better at the ankles. the way you always were my best excuse for calling in sick on everyone else. i miss you.
petey”
This particular entry was written right at the end of Warped Tour. Pete states “wrote you a goodbye note [...] on your arm when you passed out”. This can be seen in the song but slightly modified - “I wrote a goodbye note/in lipstick on your arm/when you passed out”. This addition of the word “lipstick” is significant as this makes it sound like they are talking about a girl. This entry is undeniably about Mikey, so the lyrics have been changed to seem more feminine and hetronormative. Being gay still wasn't a very accepted thing, and being in America wouldn't have helped this fact. If it got out that Pete and Mikey were in some semblance of a relationship, this would've wrecked both their careers and possibly the entire band.
Pete also wrote on his LiveJournal in 2005 “writing messages on your arm for someone to see at a show is the new away message”
My Chem is known, especially Gerard Way for writing words on themselves. But was Pete talking about Gerard? No, he was talking about Mikey. During Warped Tour, Mikey performed with words written on his arm twice. “EASY” and “FUCKED” featured on his arm while on stage. Surely this isn't a coincidence.
- xo R
(Obviously, these are only my own interpretations of Pete's ramblings. Only Mikey and Pete themselves will know what truly happened in 2005. I don't claim any of this to be the truth.)
“Sunday, July 17, 2005
wrote you a goodbye note (you just wrote me off) on your arm when you passed out. bestfriends, exfriends- better off as lovers not the other way around. racing through the city in the back of yellow checkered cars. the takeoffs are the worst but the skin from your shoulder to your ear makes it all worth it. and im sorry the way my moods flicker on and off like old light on your porch, but i know you wouldn't have it any other way. sneaking in your window instead of out. the way you hold a cigarette cause you don't know what to do with your hands when we are sitting this close. the way the waists of pants feel better at the ankles. the way you always were my best excuse for calling in sick on everyone else. i miss you.
petey”
This particular entry was written right at the end of Warped Tour. Pete states “wrote you a goodbye note [...] on your arm when you passed out”. This can be seen in the song but slightly modified - “I wrote a goodbye note/in lipstick on your arm/when you passed out”. This addition of the word “lipstick” is significant as this makes it sound like they are talking about a girl. This entry is undeniably about Mikey, so the lyrics have been changed to seem more feminine and hetronormative. Being gay still wasn't a very accepted thing, and being in America wouldn't have helped this fact. If it got out that Pete and Mikey were in some semblance of a relationship, this would've wrecked both their careers and possibly the entire band.
Pete also wrote on his LiveJournal in 2005 “writing messages on your arm for someone to see at a show is the new away message”
My Chem is known, especially Gerard Way for writing words on themselves. But was Pete talking about Gerard? No, he was talking about Mikey. During Warped Tour, Mikey performed with words written on his arm twice. “EASY” and “FUCKED” featured on his arm while on stage. Surely this isn't a coincidence.
- xo R
(Obviously, these are only my own interpretations of Pete's ramblings. Only Mikey and Pete themselves will know what truly happened in 2005. I don't claim any of this to be the truth.)
"To the drums of the city rain"
Jan. 8th, 2026 09:25 pmSometimes I dream about my life when I get older. When I can finally make it out of here and be me. Be the person I am authentically and not live in fear. I want to be known. I want to create music for the rest of my life. Stand on a stage, stare out at the crowd and know - 'I've made it'. I want to be a person others look up to. See me on stage and know that there is hope. There is a happy ending waiting for them. There is a future for marginalised and descriminated people.
In my happy ending, I'm surrounded by people who care about me and respect me. I create music and even through the music industry is hard as fuck to break into, I want to try anyway. I believe that I'd rather have I job that I enjoy and love, rather thanbeing in it for the money. I don't really care abot money. I just want to do what I love. And I'm willing to sacrifice any monetary gains for that.
Maybe my happy ending is already halfway here. I have the most amazing group of friends who I love very much. They listen. They care. And they keep me living.
Th world isn't beter off without us.
- Ramen
In my happy ending, I'm surrounded by people who care about me and respect me. I create music and even through the music industry is hard as fuck to break into, I want to try anyway. I believe that I'd rather have I job that I enjoy and love, rather thanbeing in it for the money. I don't really care abot money. I just want to do what I love. And I'm willing to sacrifice any monetary gains for that.
Maybe my happy ending is already halfway here. I have the most amazing group of friends who I love very much. They listen. They care. And they keep me living.
Th world isn't beter off without us.
- Ramen
